My Mom:

My mom’s consistent routine, with planned activities, started to pay off as she began to feel noticeably more relaxed at home. The familiarity of the structured schedule gave her comfort and a sense of control. However, just as she was beginning to thrive, her routine would be thrown off by a much-anticipated visit from my sister and brother from Israel.

They planned to stay with my mom to spend as much time with her as possible. While I knew seeing them would bring her joy, I was also worried about a disruption to her routine and the distress it may cause after they left. I made a point to share this concern with all my siblings. We discussed the pros and cons of the visit and unanimously decided it was worth it! This also meant “all hands on deck” to support the potential stressors that might result from the visit.

My Advice:

Consider these questions when contemplating a family visit:

• How meaningful are the interactions? How close are the family members to your loved one? Do they understand how to engage in positive and supportive ways, or is their approach superficial and insensitive?
• What happened in the past? Did prior visits cause confusion and distress? If yes, how long did it take to transition back to normal? How long was the visit? Can the length of the visit be adjusted, or can the arrangements be modified to limit the distraction?
• What are the alternatives? Consider other ways for family members to connect when visits aren’t possible or recommended, such as sending cards, photos, or short video messages. These gestures can provide a sense of connection without the potential stress of an in-person visit.