All the years my mom has lived in assisted living, a constant topic of discussion with her has been her home.  It has been sitting there unoccupied for over 10 years, yet she refuses to sell it.  Her home is where she raised her family and carries all her happiest memories.  Her home symbolizes her life, and in her mind, she will never be happy unless she is living in her home.

It sounds like an easy solution, right? Why can’t we just move her back home with a caregiver?  Well, not such an easy solution, because you see, my mom does not understand that she needs help.  She refuses all the care that is provided at the assisted living and has “fired” private caregivers in the past. She thinks that if she moves back to her house, one or more of her children will choose to move in with her.  Unfortunately, this is not an option for any of us at this time, thus, the hesitation.

For my mom and others with dementia, the concept of ‘Home’ is more than the house they raised their children in. ‘Home’ is familiarity, belonging, and life as it was. When confusion starts and memory loss occurs, things start to not make sense, and the desire to go home is often a yearning for familiarity and comfort.

It becomes our job to find ways to include things in their lives that are meaningful to them and will bring joy.