Supporting loved ones with dementia during the holidays can be challenging. Here are some tips to create calm during the holidays.
Navigating the Holidays and Memories
The holidays can bring a whirlwind of emotions, especially for older adults. Simply being outside and seeing the lights, or hearing familiar songs, smells, or traditions, can stir deep memories. These memories may be joyful, like childhood celebrations or time spent with parents, or bittersweet, recalling loved ones who are no longer here. For many older adults, these emotions can heighten sensitivity or trigger behaviors that family members may not fully understand.
It’s important to approach the holidays with intention, creating space for both joy and reflection. Even small gestures like sharing a favorite holiday meal, looking through old photos, or decorating together can bring comfort and connection. By slowing down and being present, families can help loved ones feel safe, included, and loved during this meaningful time of year.
Connection Over Perfection
For my mom, the holidays were always a time of togetherness. I’ll never forget how she brought our family together, filling our home with music, laughter, and the smell of her freshly baked bread. Each celebration felt warm and memorable because she made it that way.
As she grew older and no longer had the energy to lead our family’s celebrations, we began stepping in to plan and make sure those cherished gatherings continued. Now that she’s gone, the holidays feel different—there’s an empty space where her laughter and guidance once were. Still, we hold tightly to those traditions, finding comfort in knowing that each celebration carries a piece of her love, warmth, and the beautiful sense of togetherness she created for our family. As we move forward, we’ll do our best to keep our family connected and continue celebrating in the spirit she taught us—with love, gratitude, and unity.
Though nothing will ever replace her, finding ways to experience the holidays mindfully and together helps keep her memory and the spirit of family alive. The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They just need to be filled with presence, love, and the moments that matter most.
Practical Tips for Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays
- Simplify Activities
Focus on one or two meaningful traditions rather than a full calendar of events. Choose activities that feel familiar and comforting, like baking a favorite dessert or listening to holiday hymns.
- Offer Choices
Encourage autonomy. Ask your loved one what they want to do and how involved they wish to be. Even small decisions can foster dignity and inclusion.
- Create Calm Spaces
The holidays can be noisy and busy. Set aside a quiet room where your loved one can rest if crowds or noise become overwhelming.
- Engage the Senses
Familiar songs, favorite foods, and seasonal scents can spark positive memories. Be mindful of sensory overload—keep lighting soft and sounds gentle.
- Include Them in Conversations
Ask about their favorite childhood traditions or family memories. Listening honors their story and creates a sense of belonging.
- Keep Expectations Realistic
The goal is not perfection. It is comfort, connection, and shared joy. Focus on small, meaningful moments rather than a picture-perfect day.
Understanding Holiday Triggers in Dementia Care
For older adults living with dementia, sensory experiences are powerful. The twinkle of lights, the sound of carols, or the smell of cookies baking can bring warmth and familiarity, but they can also feel overwhelming at times.
Changes in routine, noise, or the loss of familiar roles, such as hosting or cooking, can create confusion or distress. What may look like resistance or agitation is often a sign of emotion, a memory, a longing, or an attempt to make sense of what’s happening around them.
When we pause to look beyond the behavior, we see the person beneath it. Meeting them with patience and empathy instead of frustration allows the holidays to remain a time of comfort, connection, and love.
The Heart of the Holidays
The holidays are a time to honor both memories and emotions. With gentle support, understanding, and thoughtful engagement, older adults can experience moments of joy and comfort, even when memories stir sadness. By focusing on connection rather than perfection, families can create meaningful holiday experiences that resonate for everyone.
For families caring for a loved one with dementia, remember that connection is still possible. It may look different, but it is no less real.
If you’re caring for an older adult this season, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Learn more about how PCSS supports families with person-centered care and dementia guidance.
